2025...Since the pandemic, I have lost my creative drive, and my desire to draw has also disappeared due to my worsening depression. In 2025, the urge to draw has started to arise again.
Artist statement
The reason I create paintings is first and foremost to be free, and to be an active task that is not painted under someone's orders. I have consistently used the word "自己満喫主義[※1](Jiko mannkitu syugi)" in the title of my solo exhibitions. There is no such word in Japanese as "自己満喫(Jiko mannkitu)" It is a word I coined. In a sense, it is my thought and philosophy. To enjoy oneself is to be in the environment in which I was born and raised as a person called me. It is also the place, time, and relationships I have lived in until now. How do I use the person called me that I have cultivated in this way to create works?
How can I use the person called me freely in my current environment? In a sense, it may be an experiment in which I use myself to create works.
There is another important element in creating paintings. Words. Unfortunately, I am not a poet, so it is difficult for me to express everything in words. As a painter, I can only use painting to depict the parts that cannot be expressed in words, such as pain, sadness, kindness, and happiness. I myself feel limited in conveying something through words. That is why I paint. This is because I believe that there is something in a work of art that transcends words and reaches directly to the heart.
My paintings contain four elements: chaos, madness, serenity, and elegance. To me, all of these are elements of beauty. You could also say that what I am constantly painting are self-portraits of the ego.
[※1] It means creating art from a deep understanding of who you are.It means to deeply understand both the inner and outer aspects of yourself, including your upbringing, experiences, and relationships.They use themselves as "material" and enjoy the creative process.
私が絵画を制作するのは、まず自由であること、誰かの命令で描いているのではない能動的な作業であること。一貫して個展のタイトルに使っている「自己満喫主義」という言葉。日本語には「自己満喫」という言葉は無く。私が作った造語です。ある意味私の思想であり哲学でもある。自己を満喫するとは、私が私と言う人間の生まれ育った環境であったり。今まで生きてきた場所、時間、人間関係であったり。そうして培ってきた私という人間が私という人間をどう利用して作品作りをしていくのか。
今の環境の中でどう縦横無尽に私という人間を使いきる事が出来るのか。ある意味、私が私を使って創作活動する実験なのかもしれません。
もう一つ絵画を制作する上で大事な要素があります。言葉です。私はあいにく詩人ではないので、言葉で全てを表現する事は困難です。私は画家なので言葉では表現出来ない部分を絵画という手段で苦しみや悲しみ、優しさや幸福感を描く事しかできません。私自身は言葉で何かを伝える事に限界を感じています。だからこそ描くのです。 芸術作品には言葉を超越した直接心に届く何かが存在すると考えているからです。
そして、私の絵画の要素として、混沌、狂気、静寂、優雅この４つが含まれています。どれも私にとっては美しさの要素になっているものです。そして、私が絶えず描いているものは自我の自画像と言ってもいいかもしれません。
